the cake!

About three months ago my husband and I took Baby Huru for a children’s birthday party. It had already been a long day as I had been on the 1 o’clock news and hadn’t had much rest the night before, but my gut also told me that the afternoon wasn’t going to be a hit with our baby because up until that point, he was sporadic when it came to when he would take to people and when he wouldn’t.

We were late to the party and hustled ourselves to the corner where the celebrations were taking place and as soon as we walked into the room, the ‘oooohs’ and ‘aaaahs’ directed to our baby began. It took two minutes, and he was in hysterics 😳 I sighed and thought, ‘it’s going to be a looong afternoon’. Nothing really soothed him. A bottle feed almost did the trick but after he was sufficiently full the crying began again. He napped for all of twenty minutes but the magician’s histrionics woke him up in a rage. No one could hold him. By the time two hours had elapsed we felt like we’d run a marathon and excused ourselves and that’s when I devised a plan to make hurt more social.

The next day I took him downstairs when all the children in the apartment block were playing under the watchful eyes of their nannies. It was the holidays so there was plenty of activity. The social experiment went something like this:

Day 1: I present Ethan to the friendly smiles and faces, he grimaces and whimpers and eventually cries. I walk around with him, soothing him, and bring him to people again. He’s grimacing but not crying. I decide 20 minutes is enough for day 1.

Day 2: I take Ethan downstairs at the same time and find the same group. He seems shy at first but as I inch him closer to everyone he begins to settle. I’m in awe…this is actually working! After some encouragement, comments like ‘it was the same with baby Moses and baby Christine’ remarks, I’m glad I’m making some headway and decide day 2 can end after 30 minutes.

Day 3: I’m not around so I leave strict instructions with nanny to carry on. The feedback is great! He agreed to be carried by at least four different people, he stared at other children and even reached out to one! Yay!

Day 4 to 8: He lets out a laugh when the guard does a dance for him. He’s carried by the other nannies. He connects with a few of the other babies. He’s ecstatic around everyone else. We’re at a good place! He’s socialising! 👯👯👯

the cake!

Day 9 to date: Baby Huru now often reaches out and touches anyone who holds him, cries when you leave him alone even for a few minutes in the baby room, claps gleefully when people play with him and is intrigued by cars and nature. It’s been three months of patience, consistency, dedication and encouragement to get him to where he is at 9 months but now I’m so much more confident having people over at home or taking him out! I admit that I baby hogged him for a while. Many parents have told me they started socialising their babies as early as one month but I needed time. To gauge, to understand… I have no regrets. O course there’s occasions when he may get a bit cranky or be unsettled for one reason or another…I mean, he’s a baby, but he sure is on the right track as the pictures here show and his father and I couldn’t be prouder of his charming, friendly nature! How did YOU socialise your baby? Let me know in the comment section below!

the cake!

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  1. hi Jane
    Am really loving what you are doing.May God bless you very much. This is really informative and knowledgeable. I don’t have a baby but when have one I will surely follow this insightful advice from your blog.

  2. My baby is 10 months and is great at socialising. I did not even realise but the first time we went to church at 5 Months, he was great with people, he was not bothered by the crowd & i left him with the kids in sunday school. I think the earlier, the better

    1. I hear you Sharon, the earlier the better! Great that you have a little one who is comfortable socializing ☺️ Thanks for your comment!

  3. Thanks for the tips Janet. i hope i am not too late to start socializing my baby. he is one and a half years and the problem is i have an 8-5 job. we leave in our own compound so no other kids. from the nanny cam i see my house help puts him to sleep like all day.
    i always sit at the creche in church so that he can interact with other kids but i have noticed he takes long to thaw to other kids. i think its about time i took him to a daycare coz he only clings to people he knows.

    1. Thank you for your comment Grace. Take heart, you’re doing the best you can by trying to balance work and the home front. Good thing about babies is they learn fast! Perhaps organize a play date one of these weekends with other mums and their babies and see how that goes? He’ll be fine all the same ☺️

  4. Never thought of it like this…my girl is 9 months and i usually have a hard time especially among kids..she cries,becomes fussy &all that..However i have noted some improvements the last two Sundays while in church..she is ok among kids hoping it gonna be like this

    1. She’ll get there Grace, children socialize and grow at their own pace and time. What I’ve learnt is to encourage Baby Huru to get used to people. Let me know how your little angel is coming along!

  5. Hi Janet. I am a mother of one, baby Kellan. Baby’s socialising starts very early. the moment you expose your baby out he learns a lot of things and helps him/her catch up with even older children. He is 18 months and i was forced to buy him a bicycle because he wouldn’t let others ride yet he doesn’t know how to ride. He can now pull the peddles half way. That exposure is really nice and he will even learn to talk very fast. Next time try take him to a bouncing castle help him jump a little bit. talk to him more often.

    1. That’s great information! I began to realize how crucial it is to socialize our baby when I saw his age mates mingling frequently. I love how much he’s grown now and I can’t wait for him to ride a bicycle like your little boy! Thanks for reading my post ☺️

    2. I talk to him all the time! We sing, dance and play. It’s an amazing feeling. I think he’s a bit too toung for the boincing castle, but certainly getting him out there a lot more! Thanks again and I wish you and baby Kellan all the best!

          1. One more advice to the mums here. Do you add cucumber to your baby’s fruits? please do it good for healthy and glowing face and skin for them. its best when raw. just great a small piece and add to the fruits. try it mums.